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Desire (1/1)
by Leyla Harrison
<starbuck72@netaxis.ca>
Summary/Rating: No case file. All relationship stuff. Mulder and
Scully finally deal with their feelings for each other. Rated mildly
NC-17 for sex. I haven't posted anything in a really long time, so I
don't know the new rating system, but I do know one thing: this is
definitely MSR!!!
Personal Disclaimer: While this may not be the sad, weepy, emotional
stuff you've come to expect from me, you should be grateful. After
writing a handful of terribly angsty stories (and wearing myself out
emotionally to boot), I'm well on my way back to writing fluff/smut. You
guys all remember when I used to write that stuff, right? Well, I'm
still trying to remember how to do it <g> but it's coming back to me,
little by little.
Official Disclaimer: Don't we all know this by heart? I'll repeat it
anyhow... <sigh> Mulder and Scully don't belong to me...they belong to
Chris Carter and 1013 and Fox and about a hundred other legal
entities...I just *wish* I own them...
This one's for KLS, who loves a good NC-17 piece of fanfic *almost* as
much as I do!! <g>
OK to post to the newsgroup.
*******
"I want you," Mulder muttered under his breath, his voice low.
Scully went stock-still as she stood at her kitchen sink. Her back was
to him, so she couldn't see his face, but she knew exactly what he meant.
The tone of his voice told her. The tone of his voice made her insides
tremble uncontrollably, and she closed her eyes briefly, for a moment,
letting the feeling wash over her.
Then she opened her eyes and turned around, trying to keep her gaze
steady. "What did you say, Mulder?" she asked calmly, pretending that
she hadn't really heard him.
Mulder was about ten feet from her. His face was flushed - I should turn
the heat down a bit; it is a little warm in here, Scully thought - and
his eyes were bright.
"You heard me, Scully."
There was no mistaking that tone.
That was the tone she had wanted to hear for months - no, years. She had
only dreamed about him looking at her like that, as if he was going to
devour her with his eyes. She had only dreamed that he would say that to
her, in that low, husky voice that made her want to abandon her strict,
no-nonsense personality and fall into his arms. She had only dreamed
that he would be able to make her body react like it was doing.
"Mulder--" she started to say, her voice trembling a little, betraying
her cool exterior.
"Scully, don't say anything."
So she didn't. She stood, the kitchen sink at her back, as he stood
there across from her, looking at her.
Silence filled the room. It was so quiet that Scully could hear the
ticking of the clock on the wall.
"I didn't think I would want you this much," Mulder finally said, "but I
do. I didn't think I could have wanted you for this long, but I have."
Scully mutely nodded her head, not knowing how to respond to that. <Oh,
God, he didn't really say that, did he?>
"You always tell me you're fine, but Scully, I know you're not. I know
that you want what everyone wants - to be loved. To be aroused." Scully
felt her own cheeks flush at this. "To be comforted." His voice had
gotten softer.
She couldn't even nod at this point. Part of her crumpled inside. He
had known, all along. He had known that she wasn't Dana Scully, doctor
and FBI agent, cool and calm, professional and in control. She had been
keeping up the front with everyone, but had forgotten that he knew her so
well that he would have figured it out eventually. He did know her so
well, after all.
"You've done those things for me, Scully." She arched an eyebrow at him,
not sure what he meant. "You've loved me. You've comforted me. You've
aroused me."
Her eyes went wide a bit. "I have?" she asked, surprised. He nodded.
She knew that she must have done all of those things, but where Mulder
was concerned, she seemed to act first and think later. One of the
things she hated most about herself - her one weakness - Mulder. Where
he was concerned, she just did things. Crazy things. Put her career and
her reputation on the line for him. Lied for him. Let him ditch her a
hundred times, and then still run after him to save him from whatever
evil it was that they were after that week. She would go after him to
save him from killers. From aliens. From himself.
And she never gave it a second thought.
Because, yes, she realized, I love him.
"It's all come down to this, Scully," Mulder said, his voice still low.
"We've acted like there was nothing between us for far too long. We've
pretended that we didn't really have these feelings for each other. But
we do." Scully stared at him, unable to speak, for fear that her voice
would betray her. "We have those feelings," he repeated.
She nodded.
"And I'm sick of pretending, Scully."
She swallowed hard.
Mulder took a few steps towards her, quickly, so that he was right in
front of her. Nervous, Scully tried to back up. There was nowhere to
go. The kitchen sink bit into her lower back. She put her hands up,
about to stop him (from what? she wondered) and he reached up and took
hold of her wrists, tightly. She let out a small gasp.
"Don't stop me, Scully. I know you want this, too."
He put her wrists against the sink, and her fingers curled around the
edge of it. He held her wrists there so that she couldn't shield herself
from him.
"I want to kiss you," he murmured, softly, and she closed her eyes again,
the simple sound of those words coming from his mouth causing a shiver to
run through her. "Open your eyes, Scully."
She did.
Mulder leaned down and kissed her. He still held her wrists. His lips
touched hers and she felt warmth, softness. She sighed, opening her
mouth almost immediately so that his tongue could dart between her lips,
tasting the inside of her mouth.
He released her mouth altogether too soon and she looked at him,
disappointed. She wriggled her hands, trying to get them free from his
grip. "Mulder, let go of my hands," she said, but he shook his head.
"If I do..." he said, "you're going to run. You're going to push me
away."
She shook her head in response. "I won't," she vowed.
He let go and she stood there, in front of him. She wanted him to kiss
her again, but she couldn't seem to find her voice. Mulder lifted one of
his own hands and traced the outline of the collar of her shirt with one
fingertip. He was touching her skin, just barely. Scully closed her
eyes again, the sensation of that one fingertip on her skin wildly
arousing.
Mulder dipped his head to her neck, to her ear, whispering. "Open your
eyes, Scully," he repeated, and let his mouth rest on her neck, letting
her feel his hot breath on the small patch of skin behind her ear. She
immediately squirmed, and Mulder moved forward more to trap her body
between him and the sink.
He traced the tip of his tongue over her ear. Behind the earlobe.
"Oh, God, Mulder," Scully gasped.
His hands were at her throat again, unbuttoning the shirt she was
wearing. He moved so that he could kiss her throat, and then he kissed
her as he unbuttoned each new button, letting his lips linger on each
newly inch of exposed skin.
Scully stopped him after the fourth button. "Mulder," she murmured.
Mulder moved the shirt open to reveal her bra, simple white, and he took
in a shark breath. "Tell me to stop, Scully," he said to her softly,
"and I will."
Scully didn't speak, but just looked at him. He lowered his head and
kissed her chest just above her breast, and she let her head drift back
slightly, closing her eyes, letting go of the sink to put her hands in
his hair, threading her finger through it so that she was holding onto
his scalp. He continued to kiss her, along the edges of the bra, moving
closer and closer to her nipple.
"Mulder - " Scully started to say, and then she felt his lips close over
the already hardened peak. Through the material of the bra.
She gripped his head tighter and moaned softly.
She heard him make what sounded like a low growl deep in his throat when
he heard her moan, and then he stepped back from her slightly, then took
her hands and led her silently to the bedroom.
*********
They undressed quickly in the darkened room and got into bed. Scully
sighed as she felt Mulder's warm skin touch hers. His body, up against
hers like this...it was more arousing than she had thought it would be.
Mulder slid his hands over her shoulders, down her arms, then back up
again, and over her breasts.
"Are you taking dress measurements or something?" she asked, jokingly.
Mulder chuckled, a sound that Scully didn't hear often enough from him.
"No..."
"Then what are you doing?" she teased him.
"Touching you. Making sure you're real. That this is real. I've wanted
this...you...for so long that I can't believe that it's really
happening."
Scully traced the outline of his jaw with her fingers tenderly. "It is
happening, Mulder," she whispered, and kissed him hungrily.
His hands continued their exploration of her body, going over the curve
of her hip, the small of her back. Scully gasped as his hand slipped
between her legs, but she made no move to stop him.
"I want to touch you, Scully," he murmured, his mouth against hers.
"God..." she whispered, amazed that those words alone could send that
pulse of excitement though her.
His fingers slipped into her, and she gasped aloud, arching her body up,
against his hand. "Mulder," she cried out, her voice caught on a
strangled moan.
Mulder raised himself up to look at her, to see exactly what he was doing
to her. He watched, transfixed, as she twisted on the bed under his
touch. He was amazed to feel how wet she was. For him. Because of him.
"Mulder," she gasped, "please..."
He knew what she wanted. He knew. He wanted it too.
He took his fingers from her and she groaned. Then he shifted so that he
was atop her, carefully helping her move her body so that she was as
comfortable as she could be. He felt his erection, hard and ready, and
he moved the tip of it to her opening, touching her there, teasing her
again.
Scully's eyes were closed, and her head was twisting back and forth on
the pillow. "Please, Mulder..."
Slowly, he moved into her. Carefully.
They were both moaning. Soft, low moans.
When he was finally deep inside her, he stopped and kissed her neck, her
lips. She opened her eyes and gazed up at him in wonder. "You feel - "
"So good," he finished for her, and she nodded.
He moved out of her, almost completely, very slowly. Then back in again.
It was agonizing. "Faster," she urged him, but he shook his head.
"Not yet," he answered. "I want it to last."
"God, Mulder," she whispered.
He slid into her again, still slow. Still careful. He wanted to taste
her, and had to be satisfied by covering her breasts with soft kisses and
using his tongue to trace around and over her nipples.
His strokes were getting a little faster. He knew that he wouldn't be
able to hold out for a long time. He felt her lifting her hips to meet
him. He closed his eyes. Scully, he thought. Scully. God.
Mulder picked up the pace a little more, his movements in her become more
forceful, but he was still careful not to hurt her. She was moaning
aloud now.
"Mulder - " she gasped. "I could come just from this."
Hearing her say that, Mulder pushed into her again, hard, deep, and she
squeezed her eyes shut tightly, crying out. Mulder felt her muscles
tighten, pulling him into her even more, and he let out a cry of his own,
burying his face in her shoulder.
They stayed like that until their breathing was back to normal. Then
Mulder carefully slipped out of her. As he did, she let out a small
moan. He kissed her forehead, right at the hairline, and then her lips.
He gathered her into his arms carefully and felt her warmth against him,
curled up close to him.
"Scully, I --"
"Don't say it, Mulder," she said, lifting her head enough from the crook
of his arm to give him one of *those* looks, and he looked at her in
surprise.
"Why not?" he asked.
She kissed him, softly on the lips, then snuggled back into his embrace.
"Because I already know."
Mulder let out the breath he had been holding.
"And I love you, too."
END
--
"Unfortunately kitchens seem to be designed and built by excessively tall
individuals, not 'normal-sized' people like you and me...."
--Scully (The Magician, Book 2)
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