My Heart Would Never Let Me Leave You Author: Stephanie Kaiser Rating: PG Classification: MSR, A Spoilers: Kitsunegari Summary: Mulder and Scully pick up where Kitsunegari left off, to a much more satisfying conclusion. Disclaimer: All rights belong to Chris Carter, 1013 productions and Fox Entertainment. I do however believe that Mulder and Scully belong to David and Gillian, without them there would be words but no soul. Suing me would do no good, I would just be able to get some sleep in jail. Author's notes: I am writing this under the undeniable suspicion that something was forgotten in this episode. Anyone who is not of the utmost belief that Mulder and Scully belong together, better read something else. Special thanks always to Karen and Melissa, who put up with the unedited versions of these stories. Thank you ladies. All comments can be sent to scully@galenalink.com My Heart Would Never Let Me Leave You Red. Blue. Red. Blue. The flashing of the lights on the ambulance was giving Scully a headache, yet she was relieved that they had moved in so quickly. The look in Mulder's eyes would haunt her for as long, she knew, as the image of her lying in a pool of her own blood would haunt him. His eyes were crazed when he had turned to her. She knew at once that he couldn't hear Linda talking. He couldn't hear her words telling him that Scully was dead, lying within a crimson liquid that had once pumped through her veins, giving her life. Mulder couldn't hear Linda telling him that it was herself approaching with a gun. But Scully had heard her. Mulder had swung around and aimed the weapon with deadly intent. It had taken all of her self-control, all of her faith in him, not to flinch and run. If she couldn't get through to him, then neither of them would leave the warehouse alive. She couldn't leave him. She'd never leave him. She thought she was getting to him, and evidently so did Linda. She stood, behind Mulder, and Scully didn't even hesitate before firing. Linda's body slumped to the floor, and Mulder raised his weapon. Her mind game with him was over. Mulder felt his mind clear. The voice that was there a moment ago, that had been so strong, that had sounded so much like his own, was silent. In its place was a high pitched scream. He turned and looked behind him, horrified that he would see his partner, dead. It wasn't Scully lying behind him, the blood pooling next to her, it was Linda Bowman. The scream in his head became louder, and he turned to look where Linda had been standing a moment ago. It was Scully. *Scully is alive. Scully is alive.* Those three words, over and over again, were the only coherent thoughts he could here above the shrieking in his mind. Everything around him was happening in slow motion. He saw Scully walk towards him, felt the pressure of her hand quickly embrace his arm, saw her kneel down and check Linda for a pulse. Mulder watched the woman's eyes open and heard her threat. The noise in his head was over powering him. He couldn't think. He couldn't be sure that the thoughts in his head were his own. He watched as Scully called the paramedics. He turned, his knees buckling slightly before he regained momentary control. Scully watched Mulder as she called the ambulance and was concerned with his lack of responsiveness. *Her* Mulder wouldn't be this silent, wouldn't have turned away from her. She hung up the cell phone and walked to where he precariously stood, his weight shifting uncertainly from one foot to the other. "Mulder," she again put her arm on his, and turned him to face her. He stumbled slightly and she became alarmed with the emptiness she saw in his eyes. "Scully? Dead? I saw you?" Were the only words he was able to speak, almost telegraphic. "No Mulder, it was a trick." She saw that what she was saying had no effect on him--she took his hand into her own and brought it to the side of her head. The side of her head that he had seen her put the gun to and fire. His hand resisted when it first touched the strands of her hair. She held his hand there. His need soon won out over his fear and he carefully threaded her hair through his fingers, as he felt her scalp, finding it whole. She leaned into his touch and soon she felt herself being roughly pulled to him. His body holding onto her as if his own life depended upon it, depended on her. She hadn't even had time to bask in the warmth of him when he began to fall. His knees buckling under his weight and the strain of his relief. *Scully is alive*. Scully gasped and helped to guide him to the floor, unable to support him. Even as his eyes closed, his hand stayed buried in the depths of her hair for countless seconds before it too fell to the floor, motionless. Her hand clutched his while the other sought her cell phone. Before she could dial, she heard the sirens of the ambulances in the distance and put the phone down. She moved to pull away and go outside and wait for the ambulances, intending to guide them to him more quickly. Mulder's hand tightened around hers. She leaned over him and he briefly opened his eyes and stared deeply into her soul. "Don't leave me again," he begged her. "I never left you," she stated, sitting down on the floor of the warehouse next to him. Grabbing her cell phone, she dialed and gave the specific directions that the ambulance driver would need to find them. The paramedics had run an IV, and per her orders, gave Mulder a sedative and covered him with warm blankets. His body and his mind were in shock. Giving the last of her statement to Skinner, both grew silent when a paramedic from the ambulance approached. "Agent Scully, he's asking for you." The paramedic informed her and she turned to Skinner, who nodded once. Scully followed the paramedic back to the ambulance and climbed in, where she took her place next to him. The doors of the ambulance closed. She reached out to Mulder and he found her hand instantly, clutching it. "Scully..." "Shhh... Mulder, close your eyes," she whispered, leaning down so that she was close to him. "No!" He responded intensely. "Why not? Close your eyes, Mulder. I'm right here." Her voice soothed him, but he still refused. "The images. You. Blood all around you." The look on his face pulled at the small portion of her heart that didn't already belong to him. She reached out her free hand and stroked his face, pushing the hair from his forehead. "They'll go away," she promised him softly, stroking the lines of worry crossing his forehead. "Close your eyes." This time Mulder did what he was asked and the sedative began to take effect. Taking him into a temporary dreamless world, void of the images that made his blood run cold. Scully watched his features gradually relax. Why the hell hadn't he listened to her? She had warned him. She had done everything that she knew how to do to keep him from pursuing Modell. She had even sanctioned his suspension. She had gone against him in an attempt, as feeble as it had turned out to be, to keep him safe. She had angered him in order to prevent the scene they had both just barely lived through. She had made him believe that she didn't trust his judgement, that she didn't trust him. Why the hell hadn't he listened to her? Why hadn't he given up? The critical voice inside her spoke up loud and clear. Mulder never gives up. What did she expect, that he would have taken his suspension and gone quietly home, letting her go after Modell alone? She had hoped, and that had been her mistake. A mistake that had almost cost her her life, and the life of the man that she secretly loved. The ambulance arrived at the hospital and Mulder was taken to a room. She stayed with him while the doctors examined him and diagnosed him as suffering from trauma-induced shock. Scully sat in the chair next to his bedside, silently daring the night nurse to ask her to leave. The nurse checked the monitors and then hastily and without confrontation left the room, leaving her alone with Mulder. Scully sat back in the chair, looked briefly at the clock and waited. The sedatives would soon wear off and the nightmares would attack him. She hoped that she was strong enough to ward them off. An hour quietly passed, and then two. Half way through the third he began to toss and turn in the bed. Scully had fallen asleep, herself worn from the day's activities. Mulder's restlessness caused her to wake. She was brushing the sleep from her eyes when he screamed out her name. "Sccullleee...!" Mulder bolted up right in bed and Scully quickly jumped up and climbed into his grasping arms. Her body comforted him and the scream quieted. She tried to sooth him, rubbing his back with her hands in small circular motions and pressing him against her while murmuring soft reassurances to him. He felt her against him, her hands drawing the pain and tension from him. The scream inside his head was silent and he had Scully in his arms. Deep, wracking sobs shook his body as she held him. Her voice encouraging him, urging him to let go, while her strong arms held him together. As his sobs subsided he allowed her to gently guide his head back towards the pillow. Her arms never released him. She held him securely to her as she positioned herself next to him on the bed, pulling the blankets up over both of them, in order to keep him warm. "You OK?" His voice was raw and desperate. "I'm right here. I'm fine." A smile, the first that night, covered her face. "I should be asking you that." "I'm in bed with you. How bad could I be?" "What do you remember?" She asked, relieved beyond words at his attempt at humor. This was *her* Mulder. "I remember you..." he started but his voice faltered. "I remember blood." "What else?" She gently prodded. "I remember walking into the warehouse, looking for Linda, but I found you. You had a gun. You put the gun to your temple..." he stopped and held onto her tighter. "But it wasn't you." "No, it wasn't me. It was her. She made you believe that you saw me take my own life, then she made you believe that I was her..." "Knowing that I would kill you." "But you didn't." "It all happened so fast. All I could think about was you on the floor, bleeding, dead." He closed his eyes and tried to forcibly remove the mental image that had burned itself into his memory. "How?" The word left his throat as a growl. "She was Modell's twin sister. She had the same tumor that he did, and the same power that he did." "Scully..." "Mulder," she interrupted. "You need to go back to sleep, you need your rest if they're going to let you go home tomorrow. I'll stay here with you, if you promise to sleep." "Life's too short, Scully. How many times are we going to be given back to each other and take it for granted? How long are we going to fight?" He reached up and cupped her face in one trembling hand. "I saw you tonight. You were dead. Linda Bowman knew. She knew if I killed you, that I would kill myself." Mulder paused and searched Scully's eyes. "She knew that my heart and my soul would already be dead without you. Do you know that, Scully? Do you know that I wouldn't want to live--that I couldn't live without you?" Mulder watched as Scully closed her eyes and turned her head away from him. He gently put his hand under her chin and guided her back. She opened her eyes and she saw there everything that made life worth living--it was reflected in his eyes. She saw there herself, safe in his arms, close to his heart. It was in Mulder's eyes that Scully found the place her heart longed to be. She reached up and caressed his face with her hand. "Mulder, tonight you got scared..." "No Scully, tonight's the first time I'm not scared. I never want to lose you. I love you." He was silent for a moment, offering her his heart. "Do you love me?" She slowly nodded and he pulled her closer to him, capturing her lips for the first time and drowning in the sensation that he found there. The love she gave to him was better than he had ever dreamed, had ever dared to hope. Mulder pulled away from her briefly, but still held her against him. "Promise me that you'll never leave me, again," he whispered softly into her ear, his voice deep with emotion. She smiled at him sweetly. His naivete making her love him all the more. She would tell him later how long she'd been in love him. "My heart would never let me leave you, Mulder." His lips covered hers once again, as the sun rose outside his hospital window, beginning a new day. Their future wasn't certain, but for the first time, the love they shared for one another was. The end.