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I need you. The words ran over and over in her head like a broken record. The conversation in Mulder's hallway would not leave her. The words haunted her every day, every second. *Scully, you can't quit now. I need you.* *No you don't. Mulder, you've never needed me. All I ever did was hold you back.*

Scully kicked herself mentally and rolled over in bed, the sheets tangled around her legs, constricting her. *If you're gonna tell yourself that so you can leave here with a clear conscience, thats fine! But you're wrong!* Scully rolled onto her back with a heavy sigh. God. Why won't it go away? For God's sake! Just let me sleep.

*Why was I assigned to you in the first place, Mulder?! To debunk your work! To rein you in, to shut you down!* Why on earth did I get so angry with him? Did I just want to get away so I didn't have to deal with the pain of saying good-bye? Did I just want to get away with a clean sweep, a nice swift cut and just forget him? Millions of questions filled her mind at once.

*Yeah, but you *saved* me! As frustrating as it's been sometimes, it was your goddamn strict rationalism and science that saved me a thousand times over! You kept me honest. You made me a whole person. I owe you everything. Scully, you owe me nothing. I don't know if I want to do this alone. I don't even know if I can. And if I quit now, they win.* Tears filled her eyes just as they did the first time she heard it. The words echoed inside her, filling her heart and soul to its fullest. A sweet remembrance that no one could ever take away from her. A few sentences, a few dozen chosen words that reflected Mulder's feelings towards her. And as he spoke, she could see the confession was slowly tearing him apart as he realized how difficult it was to break down those walls he had built for so long to protect himself from expressing his feelings to anyone. His voice dropped from a loud, protesting level to a soft, begging tone that ripped up her insides and healed them at the same time. She had whimpered softly when she felt the whirl of emotion swirl around them take over and she took him into her arms. Holding him tightly to her, trying to tell him without words that she loved him with all the power in her heart. She pressed her face into his shoulder, inhaling his scent, that wonderfully-Mulder aroma, tears streaming down her face. His face buried in her hair. She could feel his throat move as he tried to fight down the knot in it. She pulled from him and took his face in her hands, and gave him the most gentle kiss on the forehead that her trembling body would allow. And as Mulder's hands came up to her face and neck, she knew she loved him more than a friend. He had leaned to her face, so slowly, almost shyly. She tilted her head up to meet his lips, then.........then that stupid, stupid insect had to turn her world upside down.

"Goddamn fricking bumblebee," she mumbled. She could think of a lot of other things to say about that bee, but vulgar language and profanities were not anything she was interested in at 2:30 in the morning. Cursing was just not something felt like doing. She wanted to sleep. She wanted to get rid of that feeling. That horrible, awful rolling anxiety that tied her stomach in knots 24-hours-a-day. It made her feel constantly uncomfortable, formed a lump in her throat when she was with Mulder.

I need you. Need. What the hell was "need?" What a ridiculous word. Need, need, need. The sound of it was stupid it was said enough, and it looked absurd when written out next to each other repeatedly. Need. N-E-E-D. I *need* you. NEED..........

"All right, that's it!" she said loudly. She untangled herself from the sheets restraints, and turned on the light. It blinded her, burned her eyes. "Jesus Christ," she moaned, shading her eyes, blinking furiously. A good 15 seconds of temporary blindness with splashes of greens and yellows passed before her eyes finally adjusted. Her eyelids felt heavy and she could barely keep them open. She stood up, her leg muscles feeling tight, her knees wobbly. She marched over to her bookshelf and pulled out the dictionary, sitting at her desk. She flipped it open, skimming it quickly."Need, need, need. Nectary, Neddy, nee...... there we go. Need," she mumbled.

need (ni:d) n.
a condition necessitating supply or relief, a requirement for subsistence or for carrying out some function or activity, poverty, obligation

Scully wrinkled her nose in disgust. She read the second definition.

need
(v.i) to be in want
(v.t) to be in need of, to require, to be under a specified necessity or obligation

Scully shook her head. It was a better definition, but it didn't satisfy her at all. Mulder's need was different. Their "need" was different. She knew she needed him. She loved him, she desired him with everything in her body. She wanted to stay with him. But she didn't know if Mulder felt the same way. Why did he start to kiss her? Did her do it out of desperation to keep her there? Or did he just do it our of curiosity? She closed it and put it on the shelf, grabbing the thesaurus instead. She flipped through it.

need, n.
extremity, exigency, requirement (necessity); distress, indigence, want (poverty)

Scully sighed wearily. She read the next section. Her eyes lit up.

need, v.
crave, require, want

She felt her heart flutter. She read her three new favorite words. CRAVE. REQUIRE. WANT. Scully though of the conversation. She replaced the words.

Scully, you can't quit. I *crave* you.

Scully, you can't quit. I *require* you.

Scully, you can't quit. I *want* you.

She smiled, although the idea of hearing him say "I require you" sounded a little more than deranged. She looked down at the thesaurus in her hands and read the cover. "Thank you, Mr.Roget," she mumbled, thanking the writer of the little book. She stood up and went to her room, quickly changing into jeans and a white t-shirt. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She stood outside Mulder's apartment door, and took a deep breath as she knocked.

"Mulder?" she called.

"Come on in, Scully," a voice called from inside. She pushed open the door and stepped inside quietly. All the lights were on inside. She closed the door behind her.

"Mulder?" she asked again.

"Hey, Scully," he said, emerging from the kitchen.

"I was about to apologize for waking you, but I guess it won't be necessary," she said, shrugging off her leather jacket and hanging it on the coat rack. "What are you doing at 3 in the morning, Agent Mulder?"

"Actually, I think the better question to be asking here is what are you doing at my apartment at 3 in the morning?" he asked, smiling. Scully felt her cheeks redden, a hot prickling sensation on her skin. Mulder was still smiling, but his eyes reflected concern.

"What's wrong, Scully?" he asked, moving towards her.

She looked up at him. *Oh, GOD.* What was she going to say? 'Oh, I was just at home reading the thesaurus, and I thought I'd drop by and tell you I want you?'

"Nothing. I just couldn't sleep," she heard herself say. She was surprised at how smoothly it came out.

"Anything going on I need to know about?" he said, putting his hand on her shoulder. *No, don't do that, Mulder. Please,* she thought as his thumb traced small circles on her.

"No, I just felt like talking to someone," she said, moving away from him to sit on his couch. He nodded carefully.

"I'll be right back," he said, then tuned to go into the kitchen. She watched him as he left. She memorized him, his every move through the loose-fitting jeans and gray sweat-shirt. He returned with two cups of coffee.

"Seriously, Mulder. Why aren't you asleep?" she asked.

"Cuz you're here. It would be rude of me to fall asleep in your company, would it not?" he asked, handing her a cup. He sat down next to her. "No, I couldn't sleep, either." He took a sip of coffee and looked up at her. "You said you wanted to talk. What do you want to talk about?"

"Mulder............." she said, pausing to think about where to start.

"Okay, we can talk about me if you really want to."

"I didn't mean it that way, and you know it!"

"I know. It's just so easy to tease you."

"Look, do you want to know why I'm here or not?" she asked, hiding a smile.

"Okay, okay. I'll stop," he said, trying to get the smirk on his face under control. She took a deep breath.

"Mulder, I can't stop thinking about it. I can't stop thinking about what happened in this room, in that hallway right out there. It was only a few months ago. And it's been playing over and over in mind. It's a videotape that is playing in my head and I can't stop it. It's all I think about. That hallway right there. The one that's only a few feet away."

She looked at him, hoping he would understand. His eyes were searching hers, his face reflecting the expressions she was praying to see.

"I thought it was just me," he said quietly. They were silent for a moment. He took her coffee cup and set it on the table with his, then stood up. He extended her a hand. She looked at it, then to him, and gently took it, curling her fingers around his.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

"Not very far," he replied. He led her to the door, opened it and brought her in the hallway. They stopped and stood in the very spot that they seemed like they in just been in a while ago.

"Mulder?"

"I wanna do this right this time," he whispered, moving closer. Scully wrapped her arms around him, feeling a familiar lump growing in her throat. His arms encircled her, holding her just as tightly as he had before. They stayed there for a moment. Scully pulled back, and carefully pressed her lips to his forehead, then pressed her forehead to his. They pulled back, holding each other's faces. Their eyes searched one another. Mulder leaned in, Scully reached for him. They paused just before their lips touched. Faint, gentle, warm. A kiss so soft, it tickled. Lips against lips. The kiss grew. Delicate skin kneading against skin. Velvety and smooth. Passionate and wet. Her hands threaded through his hair, arms wrapped around his neck. Mulder's arms were tightly around her shoulder and waist. They held each other as the desire for one another became more and more demanding. Breathless, they pulled away. Mulder kissed her cheek, and they held one each other again.

"Thank you, Mr.Roget," she whispered.

"What?"

"Never mind, Mulder," she said smiling. "It doesn't even matter anymore."

He planted a soft kiss on her neck.

"Let's go inside," he murmured.

"Kay," she mumbled. They pulled away, Mulder's hand on her back. They opened the door and closed it without a word behind them. The click of the lock echoed through the deserted hallway.