~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A month and a half had passed.

Mulder was not sure how much longer he could go like this. Every day revolved around e-mail. He and Scully had shared a few phone calls, but they mostly stuck to e-mail. His inbox was overflowing with letters and he often went through them when he felt alone. There wasn't a minute where something didn't somehow remind him of Scully. The last six weeks seemed like a century. Time went at turtle speed, and five minutes was equivalent to a lifetime.

Scully seemed to be doing well in Oklahoma. She was doing well as an instructor, and she and Susan were becoming increasingly successful. Susan, as Mulder learned, had been Scully's roommate in college, and they had both gone to med school. When Scully joined the FBI, she lost contact with Susan, and they had drifted apart. It wasn't until a few months ago that Susan had somehow tracked Scully down to ask if she'd be interested in helping her out.

It was now late December, and the winter wind was unusually cold. He wondered it if was his imagination, or maybe just La Nina. Either way, he hated it and wished he'd be able to go see Scully. It was two days before Christmas, and Scully said she wasn't going to be able to come home. The classes were packed and she didn't want to leave Susan alone to handle the mob of med students. Mulder wanted to go down to visit her, but when he talked to his wonderful new boss, he was informed that he could only take time off if he was staying close to home. He was still being punished, so he couldn't have regular vacation times. At least Kersh didn't somehow find a way to completely cut off his contact with Scully.

*********************************************************************************

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

Scully, this has got to be the most boring week of my life. The most exciting thing that's happened is Frohike hacking into some stupid government thing that I don't really care about. It just doesn't interest me anymore.

Is there any way you could just tell the new med students to go home? I wish you were coming back, even for a day. That's all I want right now.

How is work? Good as usual, I suppose. I got a really CLASSY case to check out today. Somebody called and complained about a neighbor and insisted that a pychological analysis be conducted to prove that the man needed mental help. The POLICE are there to do that kind of stuff. There are DOCTORS to do that. Why the hell do they need me?! Ugh...I'm just tired of it, Scully. All of it. There are so many times when I want to tell Kersh where he can shove his crappy, bozo assignments, but I don't. It's like you said. We have to follow orders to get back to where we want to be. It just gets too frustrating for me to deal with sometimes.

I'll talk to you later, all right?

-Mulder

*******************************************************************************

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

Stick it out. That's all you can do. I thought that working with you was stressful. You've never had a difficult working relationship till you've had to work with Susan. Don't get me wrong; she's one of my closest friends...but I think she's going to drive me insane! It's just the little things....teeny little details that make me want to strangle her about every fifteen minutes. They're so insignificant that I can't even find a good example. Oh well.

I swear, some of the students here had no business going into medicine. Some of them probably don't know a hand from a foot, let alone knowing what to look for in an autopsy. And cutting people up all day isn't exactly the most fun thing in the world, either. But, I enjoy teaching, so it's all worthwhile. By the way, if you even DO end up killing Kersh, just ship his body down here. We need more cadavers, anyways.

I wish I could come home, too. I miss everyone. And I don't know if I've mentioned this, but I miss you, too. But just a little bit....

-Scully-

*********************************************************************************

She looked at the clock. "Geez, I'm going to be late," she mumbled, then stood up and went to the door. Susan was outside on the steps, reading a book.

"Bye, Dana. Have fun!" she said as Scully headed to the car.

"I will. See ya later," Scully called. With that, she got in the car and drove away, excited by what was to come.

She looked at her watch. 9:01 PM. The sun had set, and the familiar street looked dark and strangely different. With a smile she climbed up the stairs and walked through the dimly lit hallways, going to one of the last doors in the corridor. She tried to stop jittering and knocked on the door.

The sound of footsteps were heard, and as they grew nearer, she fought back a smile. The door opened and a head poked out.

And his jaw dropped.

"Oh, my God! Scully!" he cried, and was out of his doorway, wrapping his arms around her in a fierce hug. She laughed and held him as tightly as she could. "I can't believe you're here!" he said, squeezing her against him.

"Mmmm...it's so good to see you," she said, pulling back. "I missed you."

"But only a little bit," he added with a grin.

"Just barely."

He smiled, seeing the joy and compassion gleaming in her eyes. He just hugged her again and kissed the top of her head. "What are you doing here? You said you couldn't visit!"

"I lied."

"Apparently! I'm glad you're a liar."

"I'm glad you're gullible," she said with a chuckle. They kept their arms around each other and pulled back just enough to peer into each other's eyes. He smiled and leaned forward, placing a soft kiss on her lips. She smiled back and released him. Slowly, he let go, fighting his urges to go beyond the tender kiss he had just given her.

"Well, come inside!" he said, and ushered her through the door. He knew this was going to be a good night, but it was going to be the hardest time he'd ever have to control his emotions.

End (7/12)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Title: Three Months (8/12)
Author: Abby M Huot
See part 7 for status and disclaimer.

Scully sat down on the couch and looked around the room.

"Ah, this practically feels like home," she said.

"It IS home, Scully," Mulder said, sitting next to her. He took her hand and squeezed it. "How long are you in town?"

"Just till tomorrow night. I promised Susan that I wouldn't be gone too long, otherwise the stress would drive her insane," she said, then looked down at their hands. "Actually...I wasn't planning on coming home at all. Not till the whole time had passed."

"So why are you here?" he asked, his thumb rubbing the back of her hand.

"Suzie said she was going to knock me out and ship me here if I didn't go voluntarily. Supposedly I wouldn't shut up about D.C." She raised her eyes to meet his and he smiled.

"So, you're here," he said. She dropped her gaze to her lap.

"I just needed to see you," she said softly. Mulder let go of her hand and turned to face her, pulling her against him. She sighed and shifted turning her body to him, wrapping her arms around him. Her chin rested on his shoulder, his hair brushed her ear.

Neither said anything.

It was a silent embrace.

Nothing needed to be said.

Mulder's eyes were closed, and he breathed her in. This wasn't a dream. She was here; this was real. His daydreams of her coming home to see him were prophesies of things to come. His longing for her company could now be satisfied, as long as she stayed right where she was.

When his hands started caressing her back, Scully held him tighter. She had wanted to see him for so long now, it almost seemed like this wasn't happening. She almost considered, for a moment, telling him that she never stopped thinking or worrying about him. The feeling of his nose nuzzling her neck caught her by surprise. The amount of affection seemed unusually high, but under the circumstances she didn't care. Had the situation between them been normal, she would have felt uncomfortable. But this small act felt so good and pleasant, she simply pressed her face into his shoulder and sighed.

"I missed you, Scully." His voice was soft, a low murmur.

"I know. That's why I'm here," she said. She turned her head and kissed his cheek. As she moved back, he caught her face in his hands, his eyes closed and he leaned to her. And Scully suddenly was paralyzed with fear. What was she supposed to do? He pressed his lips to her forehead, and her eyes automatically shut. His lips dragged lightly down the bridge of her nose and she caught her breath. She didn't know what to do, and though she had always wondered what would happen if she and Mulder took their friendship to this level, she wasn't sure if she wanted to. Not now, at least. His hands went moved further back on her face, and right when she was sure his lips were going to meet hers, his fingers brushed over the diamonds in her ears.

"You're wearing them," he said, his hand sliding to her face to her shoulders, and down her arms. She opened her eyes and smiled slightly.

"Did you think I'd let you spend all that money and I wouldn't show them off?" she asked.

"I guess I didn't know what I thought," he said, taking her hands again.

"Mulder, this may not be the best timing, but my mother is expecting me. I need to go," she said.

"Now?" he asked, his face looking disappointed.

"Now. I'm sorry," she said, standing up. He released her hands and stood up.

"Can you come back before you go?"

"I'll try. But Mom's house is pretty close to the airport, and I kind of planned to go right from Mom's to there. Maybe I can meet you at the airport?"

"Just give me a call and tell me when."

"I will," she said, heading to the door. He followed her silently. She opened the door then turned to look at him. "Bye."

"Bye, Scully," he said, then leaned to kiss her cheek. "It was good to see you." Scully smiled a little, then went out the door. Mulder stood in the doorway and watched his partner walk slowly down the hall, her fingers touching her recently kissed cheek.

End (8/12)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Title: Three Months (9/12)
Author: Abby M Huot
See part 7 for status and disclaimer.

Her mother had been surprised to see her, because she, too, had been told that Dana couldn't come. It had been a pleasant visit, and Scully was glad to be home. But that night, she laid in bed thinking of what happened at Mulder's apartment. They were holding each other...and then he'd tried to kiss her again? She struggled to find a logical motive for his behavior. Maybe he was just tired. Or maybe he wasn't thinking straight from the shock of her arrival. Or maybe it was just because he loved her. It was no secret. Between the whispers, tears, hugs, and awkward but meaningful kisses that they had shared together in the past years, it didn't take a genius to figure out their emotions.

Again she found herself ask, "Why did I run?" Every time that this happened, she grew fearful of what might happen. How could she be with Mulder, fighting the future, when she was afraid of it? Self-anger and resentment filled her every cell, she sighed irritably and threw herself from her back to her side. She stared at the moonlit wall in front of her till her eyes started to burn.

"Oh, Mulder...I wish I could just tell you." she whispered to herself.

**********************************************************************************

Mulder couldn't sleep. It wasn't so much because he was never a good sleeper. He was too wired. He still had butterflies in his stomach from Scully's surprise visit. It happened so fast, and it had been such a surprise to him that he hardly could think to do anything but crush her against him in a warm bear hug. Maybe he held her a little tighter than normal, but he hadn't cared. And she hadn't seemed to fight him when his face dropped to her shoulder and he gently rubbed her nose against the silken flesh of her neck. She had smelled so good, a light floral scent that was so sweet, he could nearly taste it. He had been tempted to, but he never would. He wasn't sure how she'd react to that. She'd probably use that warning tone of hers again.

But right when he thought he was brave enough to take that first step forward, to ignite their first kiss, he grew fearful of rejection. He had moved his hands and his fingers touched the diamond studs in her ears. Thankful for a momentary distraction, he was able to gather his courage again. But by then she was up and going, not because she didn't want to be with him, but to see her own family. A good excuse and the only excuse he would accept. If she would have said, "I'm going to go see Frohike," he would have said, "Uh, no you're not," and would have kissed her right then to keep her from walking out.

But now he wondered if he had detected the slightest hesitation. When he let his lips trail down her nose, he felt her stiffen. He had pulled back a little, to look at her eyes. Had he read any sign of discomfort or disgust in them, he would have stopped immediately. But instead her eyes were closed, her dark lashed lining her eyelids, one eyebrow slightly arched. Her lips were barely parted, but it was enough to look welcoming. But he chickened out. And he regretted it now.

*********************************************************************************

The day had passed so fast that Scully was already getting ready to go back to Oklahoma. To her dismay, Mulder had called in the morning to tell her that Kersh had an unexpected assignment and that he was sorry he couldn't make it. She had ran out immediately and bought him a Christmas present. She hid it after it was wrapped.

While walking through the bustling airport, Scully's cell phone rang. She whipped it out and answered it.

"Sorry I can't be there, Scully."

"That's all right, Mulder," she said. "I'll be home in a few weeks. Within two at the earliest. Remember, it was three months at the latest."

"Yeah, I know. I'm glad. I need you back here."

"I know."

"Hey, Scully?"

"Hmm?"

"I owe you a hug when I see you."

"I'm writing it down as we speak," she said with a smile. "Where are you, Mulder?"

"At home. I was just about to e-mail you."

"Check your top drawer."

"What?"

"Just check it."

The sound of a drawer opening could be heard on the phone.

"What is this, Scully?"

"Letter bomb. I made it just for you," she said, still smiling. "Open it."

Paper was tearing on the other line. The line was silent.

"Mulder? Are you there?"

"Scully...this is great!" he said, his voice sounding restricted. "How did you know my watch was broken?"

"I remember seeing that it was looking a bit out of shape after Antarctica, so...I figured you could used a new one," she said. Her free hand fingered her earrings. "I just thought I owed you, anyways."

"No...not this. Scully, this is way too much-"

"So are diamond earrings," she interrupted. "Look...I gotta go. I need to board the plane. Merry Christmas, Mulder."

"Merry Christmas. And Scully?"

"Yeah?"

"I owe you at least two hugs now."

"I'll remember that."

End (9/12)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Title: Three Months (10/12)
Author: Abby M Huot
See part 7 for status and disclaimer.

It had been two months and a week.

Mulder was irritable and restless.

Scully had convinced him she'd only be gone for two months. As if eight weeks wasn't bad enough. Nine was even worse. Her excuse was logical. It really wasn't even an excuse. It was a reason. The school had become backed up with students, and the other doctors that were scheduled to come and teach were unable to come for reasons unknown. So she felt she had a responsibility and really had no good reason to go.

'Had no really good reason to go?' he wondered. Wasn't he at least ONE good reason to come back? Okay, so it might have sounded a bit self-centered, but he thought he had a bigger impact in her life.

He sat down at his computer and opened up his e-mail account.

*********************************************************************************

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Just a small question for you...

Scully, when exactly will you be returning? Do you have a specific date? I'd like to know, so that I can clean up my apartment for when you come to say "Hi." I can't see my floor anymore, and it's scaring me. I guess I didn't realized how many clothes I actually HAVE....

I'm going to be honest, here. I'm counting down the days till things get back to normal again. Yes, I've adjusted, but it doesn't make it better. I just need to know, sorry to be a pest about it.

-Mulder

********************************************************************************

Scully was tired and distracted. This was a day from hell. She wanted to go home more than anything. But now she wasn't sure when she could. She didn't know what to do. She wasn't sure of anything anymore.

Slowly, she went to her computer and sat down. A loud sigh left her as she check her mail. Mulder had sent her a note, wanting to know when she would be coming home. With a lump in her throat, she started to write back.

********************************************************************************

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Just a small question for you...

Well, I would be home in three days, but it might now turn out that way.

Mulder, I have something to tell you. Something you probably won't like. I was offered a job today, Mulder. A high-paying job as a permanent instructor here. But not just to teach autopsies. To teach medicine. It's a dream. I have always wanted to do this. But I don't know if I want to now.

I love my job. I enjoy working for the FBI, even now, when we're under punishment. It may not be the most glamorous thing right now, but when we get the X-Files back, Mulder, it'll be better.

I know you want me home. I do, too. But this is an opportunity that I can't immediately pass up. I need to think about this longer. I'm going to make my decision soon. I'm taking this offer very seriously and I'm considering taking it. This is something that I've wanted to try since I was a kid, Mulder. No, I'm not practicing medicine directly. But teaching it can make a hundred times more difference when 100 students leave here with the knowledge I carry with me. So it's not just me helping others.

Please, Mulder, don't be angry, though I know you will be. It's not you. Just realize the situation before me and put yourself in my shoes. Would you jump right into the decision? I need to go and sleep on this. I'll let you know.

-Scully-

End (10/12)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Title: Three Months (10/12)
Author: Abby M Huot
See part 7 for status and disclaimer.

11:25 P.M.

And Scully still couldn't sleep. She had considered all the outcomes but still didn't know if she wanted to go right or left. It was too hard to choose. She wished she were 5 again, so that Mommy could make all her decisions for her. Ah, that was the life. If only she would have known then....

She wondered if Mulder even had read her message yet. God, what was he doing and thinking now? Was he still telling himself that she'd be coming home soon? Was he unknowingly living his life, innocently going about without the horrible news that she had shared with him? She shuddered and made herself swallow the knot that was painfully stretching the muscles in her throat. She got up and went to her computer again, checking to see if Mulder had responded. And he hadn't yet. Why hadn't he been on yet? He always checks his mail at night. ALWAYS. Maybe he didn't care. She decided right then to take the job. She flipped on her e-mail.

********************************************************************************

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: I've decided...

I'm taking the job. There are dreams coming true here that I just don't want to pass up. If I don't like it, I can always come back. I realize this is not the answer you wanted to hear, Mulder. And I'm sorry. Please regard my decision and realize that this was not easy for me.

-Scully-

********************************************************************************

She sent the note to him and with teary eyes got up. Frustrated she went to the front door and stepped outside, closing the door behind her. She looked up at the brass "16" on Susan's door and knocked. A slow shuffle came from inside and the door opened.

"Dana?"

"Hi, Suzie. Can I come in?"

"Uh, sure. What's the matter?" Susan asked, holding her door open for Scully.

"This job that we've been offered....what did you decide?" Scully asked slowly.

"I'm staying. No question. Even if there are a few morons we have to deal with, I don't care. I love doing this, and it pays better than my old job," Susan said as they went and sat on the couch. "How about you?"

"That's what I'm here about. What should I do?"

"That's not my choice, Dana. That's all up to you. What do YOU want to do?" Susan asked, pulling her legs up beneath her to keep her feet warm.

"I don't KNOW what I want! I don't know what I want to do anymore," Scully said, her voice cracking as she covered her face.

"Dana?" Susan asked, touching her shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"No, I'm not! I hate this! I don't want to choose! I can't."

"Settle down, okay? Take a slow, deep breath," Susan said softly. Scully obeyed and fought back tears. "Now, let me guess; you can't decide if you want to go back or stay?"

"Yes."

"Dana, its a question of what you believe is important," Susan said. "Now, do you care about the money? I mean, I'm sure the FBI provides a good enough paycheck."

"Yeah, it does," Scully replied. "The FBI pays enough, I mean."

"Okay, so that's taken care of. What do you enjoy more, investigating or teaching?"

"I'm not sure," Scully said carefully.

"Think."

Scully sat there, staring at the table ahead of her.

"Investigating. But I love teaching."

"Well, it's gotta be one or the other, hon."

"Investigating," Scully said.

"There you go! So what are you waiting for? What's the problem?" Susan said.

"No...it's...Suzie, I always wanted to be a doctor. Since I was a kid. You know that. This is my chance. Now I can spread the power to heal to others and save more lives. I wanted make a difference in people's lives."

"You don't think you've made much impact?"

"I don't really think so."

"Dana. You've been in the FBI for what? Nearly ten years? I KNOW that you've saved lives. I KNOW that there are people out there that you've changed. And they're thankful for you," Susan said. She paused. "I know your father wanted you to go into medicine. And I know you thought that he'd never forgive you for joining the FBI. Don't tell me that you regret it now."

"I don't," Scully said, her hand coming up to her hair. She twisted her earrings subconsciously, and Susan suddenly looked shocked.

"Where on earth did you get those?" she asked, lifting Scully's hair to peer at the studs in her ears. "Those are gorgeous!"

"Mulder gave them to me," she said softly. "That's it. It has nothing to do with the money or your father. It's Mulder!"

"What are you talking about?" Scully asked with feigned surprise.

"Dana! How much more obvious does it need to get here? Let's think about this: You've been best friends with a man for six years. You've saved each other's lives countless times and are probably closer than a husband and wife. Yet, you STILL can't accept the feelings you have for him?"

"No!" Scully cried, "Well...yes! Errrr...I don't know! Maybe I'm just scared that he doesn't feel the same way. I love having a platonic relationship. It's beautiful. And I'm afraid that if I take that next step forward alone...what if I lose what we have? I scared, Suzie! I want to tell him, I do! But that kind of rejection would crush me. I don't think I'd want to go on alone."

"Dana Scully, listen to me. I know you're scared. But I can PROMISE you that nothing but good things will happen to you if you take that next step. Now, think of it this way, okay? If you go back, you can be investigating again and you can be with Mulder. And don't try to tell me you don't miss him. It's no secret, I'll tell you that. With as many stories as you've told me, from his support throughout your cancer to comforting you when you needed it, it's not a surprise to me anymore. If you go back to D.C., then you'll be back doing what you love and know. If you stay here, you'll get more money, yes. You'll save lives, yes. But you won't be happy. And you'll have torn apart one man's heart."

"What if I've already told him I'm staying?" Scully whispered.

"You better set him straight."

"I don't know...I'm going to check my mail. To see what he says."

"Good-night, Dana," Susan said as she watched Scully get up and go to the door. Scully turned to look at her.

"I'm still not sure. I'm more convinced, but I'm not positive. In any case...thank you, Suzie."

"That's what friends are for, right? I don't want to see you miserable." And with that, Scully closed the door.

"That woman is going back to D.C, whether she thinks she is or not," Susan mumbled to herself. "Hundred bucks she'll be on her way home tomorrow."

********************************************************************************

Scully opened her mail. "Dammit, Mulder, you better have written something that will make me change my mind," she said aloud. And she saw the message on the screen.

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: But...

What about the X-Files? Why, after all you've seen and done, would you want to go do something as mundane as teaching? I'm sorry, Scully, but I just can't see it. I guess I'll always see you as "Scully, FBI." I always have.

No, I can't say that I'd go off and make my decision if I were you. But if I were you, I'd be careful. If you decide to leave, Scully, I'll respect your decision. Because I respect you. I respect your reasons, and I deeply respect your judgment. And I know you've made your choice. But I know you, and I know that you're still straddling that bar. You don't know what to do, but a new start would be nice. I wouldn't change my job for anything. Then again, I've dedicated my life to this work. Although it hasn't always been pleasant, Scully, it's been worth it. And I'll tell you why.

It's you.

You make it all worthwhile. Whether it's when I'm hospitalized or when I'm just downright selfish, you're always there. You're a presence that I got used to. You show a loyalty and dedication to our friendship that I have never seen before. And when you're not here, Scully...when you're not here with your rigid science and your strong beliefs, I feel like part of me is gone. Yes, I realize that this sounds stupid and overemotional, but I don't care.

Dammit, Scully, don't go. I told you a few months ago that I need you. I wasn't lying. I'm still not. And I feel like that now more than ever. So, please, remember this as you make this choice you're faced with: It's not just your life you'll be changing.

I love you.

-Mulder

End (11/12)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~